Day 11: Still Trying

 

Here is the link to my original Day 11 on Nutrisystem. It was Monday January 14, 2019 and my headline that day was "The Quality of My Life Depends Entirely on Me". I was climbing out of the depths of despair at that time and look where it got me ! I kept my job for another 5 years and lost over 150 pounds ! I've always said things happen for a reason, so I have to start believing my own words and keep trying. I have to give myself some grace and focus on the positives.

Today dawned gray, gloomy and cooler. I was awake just before 8 and up shortly after. Once I fed the stray cats I discovered Minnie had peed on the laundry room floor. This tells me she was not happy with only one litter box. After breakfast I cleaned that up and put another box in service for her, then cleaned up the litter she'd kicked out of the existing box. Cleaning 2 boxes will be fine as long as I don't get lazy and ignore them. It only takes a minute to scoop out the clumps each day. The task is harder when you ignore it !

It AT&T news, the strike goes on and they suffered yet another mobile service outage yesterday. They always blame a "software glitch" and fail to disclose that most of that work is outsourced to workers in other countries. I suspect there are non-stop attempts to hack into the company and those outsource employees are easy targets. They live in third world countries and are 100% motivated by money. There are plenty of US workers that are also 100% motivated by money but I'd like to believe they're less likely to resort to hacking or knowingly giving access to a hacker. As for the a-hole that laid off all those workers in May, I suspect every dollar they saved is going to be spent on overtime pay once the strike is over .. and I love it ! In fact, I am happy for every piece of bad news I see about them. I'd have been happy with just 2 more years of employment as it would have gotten me close enough to age 65 and Medicare. I don't think that was a lot to ask but they didn't care. They used the "RTO" mandates as an excuse to get rid of older workers, since we were hired at satellite locations years ago. Karma will always find you.

It's Wednesday and that means rock & roll bingo ! This is the highlight of my week. Tonight I'm going to have the cheese flatbread pizza as I think, in the end, it will be less calories AND it will satisfy my pizza cravings ! The entree I usually get includes homemade potato chips and I always eat them all, so there is likely a lot of fat calories there. Also, the buffalo chicken wrap includes fried chicken and bleu cheese - more fat calories. 

Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with low cal syrup, which is almost gone and will be replaced with sugar free. Late morning I had an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate protein shake with peanut butter powder. The PB adds 30 calories but it is so worth it for the flavor value !

Last night I had an incident with the whipped cream can. I don't know how it happened, but I cut the palm of my right hand on the spout. Minnie was sitting on my couch cushion (funny story) and I was planning on going to bed, so I decided to sit at the kitchen table and have my evening snack. I think as I was sitting down I had popped the top off and somehow I sat awkwardly and my hand was on the top of the can. I can't really figure out how it happened. Who knew the plastic spout was so sharp ! It's a nasty slice in the pad of the thumb but it'll be fine in a day or two. I have it covered with a bandage for now. As for the funny story, I was sitting there around 10:30 watching YouTube and Minnie came meowing over to me. She's gotten pretty vocal of late ! It was clear she wanted the couch because as soon as I got up and put "her" blanket on the cushion she settled right in. That's how I ended up sitting at the kitchen table to have my snack and that's how I cut my hand. So I blame her .. lol ! Not really, it was just a freak accident !

I looked back at my old blog to see when I started using the treadmill. It was February 10, 2019 - day 38 ! There is no way I am "waiting" until day 38 to get back into a good routine on the treadmill, so my goal is to be in a consistent routine by day 38 ! I think that is a reasonable goal and I have 27 days to get there. Reading through the next few blogs after day 38 revealed that I was struggling with consistency and didn't exercise every day. So .. relax .. breathe .. stop beating yourself up. I've been here before and I got past it ... I can do so again. In the beginning I only used the treadmill once a day, because I was still working in the office 5 days a week. I may have done 2 workouts a day on the weekends or when I had a day off, but I didn't add the lunchtime workouts until after I started working from home 3 days a week in August 2019. I looked back in my blog and the first lunchtime workout was on Day 265 - September 25, 2019. What !?!?!?! Here I am beating myself up EVERY SINGLE DAY and yet the first time around I didn't exercise until day 38 and I didn't move to a twice a day schedule until day 265 ... yet I had lost nearly 100 pounds by then ! Whaaaaaat !?!?!?!?!?!  I will say it again: relax .. breathe ... relax ... breathe. I have berating myself every single day .. and for what !?!?!?! This shows me just how important my blog is. I wouldn't have believed it.

So, with that stressor relieved ... I made myself a protein shake and got on the treadmill just after 11:30 am ! I forced myself to do the usual 3 minute warm up at 2 mph and cool down at 2 mph for 90 seconds and 1.8 mph for 90 seconds. The workout itself was 13m38s with about a minute at 1.5 at the beginning and end and 2.2 mph for the 11+ minutes in between. Did reading about my prior record spur my competitive nature ? I don't know .. but whatever it is I was happy to be on that treadmill. Exercise does make you feel better physically and mentally ! The plan at noon was to get another workout in before I needed to shower and get ready to go out. I get slightly out of breath during the workout but it passes quickly, Fitbit recorded a heart rate spike to 152 but it didn't last long. My resting heart rate is 62, which is great. Depending on how you calculate it, the max heart rate for my age is 158 (220-age) or 164.6 (age x 0.7-208), so I didn't exceed either of those. There are multiple ways to calculate it but these seem to be the most common. Before I started gaining the weight back my resting heart rate was in the low 50's so I have a ways to go before I get back to that zone. I don't think 62 is bad, considering my current weight. About 1:30 I was finishing my salad and decided to get back on the treadmill at 2 pm, then take my shower.

Today I finally bit the bullet and entered my current weight in the Fitbit app. I need to lose 118 pounds. 😭😡 No, I am not happy about this. I'm really disgusted with myself. However, I am committed to getting back to where I was. I will wear those size 10 jeans by Christmas 2025 !

In 3 days I will turn 62. In honor of that, I'm setting a goal of 62 workouts between today and September 30. Today was #1 and #2 of 62. Only 60 to go !

As a reminder to myself: I am no longer tracking how long it's been since I was laid off. I am also no longer tracking the original "getting back on track" with where I am today. I am also no longer obsessing over exercise. Lastly, I am no longer stressing over how much freaking whipped cream I use on my evening snack. If those few extra calories are the only blip in my day, then I'm doing pretty good !

Sadly, there is no rock & roll bingo tonight. Kim went to the Fair with her friends (and didn't bother to let me know) and Rich is working late. I didn't find out until I had already showered and done my hair & makeup. So here I sit, all dolled up with nowhere to go. I was really looking forward to that flatbread pizza too ! Oh well. I guess I will treat myself to a 1911 with my dinner. I'm really bummed as I was looking forward to getting out for the evening. We're going to the Fair tomorrow, so the week isn't a total loss !