Day 4 & 5 - Working On Flexibility

 

and

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” 

- Tony Robbins

I originally prepared this blog to document the beginning of a new job, but nearly 3 months after being laid off there is no job in sight. Therefore, I am choosing to use this for something more positive. Today is the last day I will use this statement in my blog.

Today should have been the 25th day of my latest effort to lose the weight and stick to the Nutrisystem plan. However, I've been off track due to falling back on "excuses" and just being lazy. As such, I decided to renumber the days. I haven't been "on track" for 25 days. It's only been 5. At day 25 the first time around I had lost 19 pounds, so it makes more sense to go back to Day 5 instead of chasing yet another impossible goal. Today is also the last day I will use this statement in my blog. 

Here is the link to my original Day 4 and Day 5 . It was Monday January 7, 2019 and Tuesday January 8. I went back to work on Monday after a long holiday vacation, only to find our office was closing and after 34 years, I was facing job loss. Lucky for me that didn't happen and I got 5 more years in. I'm grateful for that because it allowed me to get my debts paid off, lose the weight and increase the value of my 401k and pension plan. Unfortunately, I didn't keep the weight off. However, I am in the best financial shape of my life. This is due to a combination of making good financial decisions AND the loss of my mother. I inherited about $80k and that allowed me to side my house and build up my savings account. I also no longer throw away thousands at the casino. Tuesday was a stressful day as I woke to water issue. It was the dead of winter. This was 2 days of stressful events, yet I didn't give in the stress eating or abandoning my goals. Why am I doing that so much now ? These old blogs are good reminders ! I will continue to post links to the original days of the blog until I feel like my weight loss and fitness journeys are in a good place. When this new journey is in a good place I should be able to let go of past success.

Yesterday was uneventful. It was a gray chilly rainy day. I spent the morning and early afternoon watching YouTube and playing Cookie Jam. It was rock & roll bingo day so I showered and got myself ready for that starting around 2 pm. It was only Joe, Kim and I as Rich had to work late and Barb won't drive herself if she is drinking. We had a good time. For dinner I had a chicken, bacon, ranch sandwich that I didn't realize was fried and thought came with chips. Turns out it was breaded & fried patty and it came with fries. I decided to skip the bun and have the fries. Fortunately they did not give me a ton of fries. The sandwich was delicious and only had 2 pieces of bacon and maybe a tablespoon of ranch total, half of which the bun soaked up. I also had my usual 2 Michelob Ultra. Other food yesterday was 160 calorie waffles with low cal syrup, 80 calorie yogurt, 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt and a chef salad. After I got home from bingo I was hungry so I had a 140 calorie lemon zest cake with whipped cream. I still have a little ice cream left but decided to keep those calories for another day.

Today the sun and slightly warmer temps arrived. It's State Fair time so I'm sure everyone going today was happy about that ! Kim and I are going to the Fair next Thursday. That could change if the weather doesn't cooperate !

Breakfast today was 160 calorie waffles with low cal syrup again. I had an 80 calorie yogurt around 1:30. Lunch (around 3 pm) was a 230 calorie burrito with a chef salad. My afternoon snack (which I had after 6 pm) was 80 calorie cottage cheese and 120 calorie mandarin oranges. The oranges are a great snack as I get to eat the whole can ! It was 7:15 by the time I finished the cottage cheese, so dinner was going to be late ! Dinner was a 250 calorie chicken enchilada with a bag of green beans. Evening snack was a 140 calorie chocolate cupcake with whipped cream and a scoop of ice cream. I'd say I have one more serving of ice cream and then it'll be gone !

I've been hoarding the Nutrisystem burritos as I can't get them with my plan and Nutrisystem doesn't offer a la carte shopping or sales anymore. I can only get certain items as "add on's" with my auto ship now and the burrito's are not included. I'm sure they figured out people were forgoing the monthly shipments because they knew 50% off sales would be run at every holiday. I shopped the sales a lot and I'm sad to see them go ! I'm glad I have a healthy supply of the protein shakes, since they are $80 and I bought them with a 40% discount using 20% discounted gift cards. When they are gone I will switch to a different product that I can buy locally. I thought about cancelling my plan and starting to do my own meals, but it would cost more and I would be more likely to overeat. Right now I get 96 items (24 breakfasts, 24 lunches, 24 dinners, 24 snacks) for $304.14. I buy $100 gift cards for $79.99 at Costco and use 3 of them for each order, saving $60.03 every time. That means I'm actually paying $244.11 for 96 items, which is $2.54 each or $10.16 per day. I add in yogurt, salad, veggies and an afternoon snack. I'm not sure I could beat $10.16 a day preparing my own breakfast, lunch, dinner and evening snack - mostly because food prices have gone up so much ! Also, if I cancel I will NEVER get a new plan at this price. The 5 day plan is $339.99 now but I only pay $304.14, which saves me over $35 a shipment. Until August 2022 I was paying $323.07 but then something happened to their website. I suspect they had some sort of cyber incident because the order process was in chaos for a time and you had to call them with any issues. I recall calling for some reason (maybe to delay an order) and the next thing I knew my plan price had changed. The website says I have no current plan, probably because they don't offer a plan at the price I pay. So, I'm lucky there. My food choices are somewhat limited, but I enjoy everything that I eat. Right now I have an excess of dinner items and I want to reduce that backlog, so I may run out of breakfast & snack items before I order again. I'll just pick up some of the waffles I previously bought at Wegman's, along with the Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches. I wasn't sure what I'd do for evening snack, but I found there are sugar free cake and brownie mixes available. I am going to pick some up on my next shopping trip and give them a try ! Pillsbury zero sugar brownies are 150 calories if you cut the 8x8 pan into 12 pieces. Their zero sugar yellow cake mix is 220 calories if you cut the 13x9 pan into 10 pieces, so that means the entire cake is 2200 calories. I would try to cut 15 pieces to bring the calories down to about 147.

I got up just before 9 and spent the morning watching YouTube and playing Cookie Jam. I thought about going to have my inspection/oil change done but Minnie was VERY comfortable on my lap and I cherish the time I have with her. She is 15 now, so we are both old ladies ! I don't plan on getting any new pets once she is gone. I'll just keep taking care of the strays as long as I can.

Since I wasn't going out, there were no excuses to avoid the treadmill, so I got myself dressed around noon. I also sprinkled some of the flea powder on the floor under my desk and used the laundry room broom to spread it around. It'll have to be vacuumed up later. 

I haven't heard from any of the jobs I've recently applied for, so I'll just keep plugging away at that. I'll find something eventually or I'll just be retired !

At one time I used to write about how I was feeling in my blogs. I haven't done that in a while, but I'm going to try it again. This morning I was thinking about flexibility, since I tend to let the smallest bump in the road send me off track. In searching for resources on Google I came across this, that talks about "Rigid Restraint vs Rigid Control". Here are the 2 key points:

♦ Rigid restraint imposes strict rules (often based on a negative self-image), and once a rule is inevitably broken — often in response to the presence of extra-appealing foods or emotional cues — overeating or eating with a sense of being out of control becomes very likely.

♦ Flexible restraint focuses more on overall habits that fit personal goals. High-calorie choices might be kept to limited amounts, but there’s no guilt in enjoying them and no particular food or eating choice is forbidden. 

I have clearly been trying to impose Rigid Restraint on myself, and it's not working. Last night was a good step in the right direction since I opted to forego the bun on my sandwich and have the fries, instead of trying to deny myself both. Having my evening snack with ice cream was also a good step. I did think about eating more, such as pretzels or that last candy bar, but instead I took myself off to bed ! Eating "off plan" didn't give me license to eat even more ! Flexible Restraint sounds like the best way to eat but for me that needs to be my goal when I have lost the weight and want to maintain it. I'm not exactly sure when and why I got off track but it started long before my mom passed and during a time when my job appeared secure. I need to be conscious of that as this new journey progresses. Going forward I will think about Rigid Restraint when I have a not so perfect day. It's not an excuse to just compound the issue ! For now, right now today, I have to remember that this is only Day 5 ! I have to put the achievements and failures of the past to the side and just use them as a reminder that I CAN DO THIS ! It's not going to be easy. It wasn't easy the first time either, but I did it ! 

I forgot to mention that yesterday I threw away the last pizza crust and the remains of the last bottle of pizza sauce. Going forward pizza will be a once in a while treat. That sucks because it was SO good .. but so bad for me. I may start getting a flat bread pizza on rock & roll bingo night. That will satisfy the desire and not be an everyday occurrence. I also had to toss a jar of roasted red peppers and a tub of feta cheese as both were starting to grow mold. It's my own fault as I haven't been having salad every day. I'm not going to buy more of the peppers because they really don't add much to my salad. I do love the feta so I will keep buying that.

I didn't get on the treadmill today and I'm okay with that. I did vacuum the downstairs, which included vacuuming up the flea powder in my office. I haven't vacuumed in a couple days but I had a flea in the living room today so I decided to get that done. I haven't seen any in my bedroom in a few days and I've slacked off vacuuming up there. My next project is addressing the leaking tub spout. It's leaking into my dining room ceiling. The tub enclosure wasn't installed very good and leaks all around - so I need to seal the whole thing. I've known about it for a long time but I've been ignoring it. Now that I have a lot of time on my hands, it's time to address it.

I was thinking about medical insurance today and decided to check out the AARP website to see if they had any non-Medicare options. It seems like they don't but I noticed they were offering 5 years of membership for only $45. I went ahead and signed up, since $9 a year is a great deal. More than likely when I reach 65 in 3 years, if I'm retired, I'll buy a Medicare supplement plan from them. My mom & dad went through them and never had to worry about their medical bills being paid.

In AT&T news, they are still on strike in Florida. From what I understand, they walked off the job at 3 pm on Friday, so it will be a week tomorrow. Laurie is probably working non-stop and losing her mind.