Day 9 - Begin Again

 

Today is the 9th day of my latest effort to lose the weight and stick to the Nutrisystem plan. I originally prepared this blog to document the beginning of a new job, but over 2 months after being laid off there is no job in sight. Therefore, I am choosing to use this for something positive.

I cancelled my Friday interview as the recruiter reached out to advise the salary range was $45-55k with room for negotiation based on experience. Since that is half of what I'm looking for (and what I'm worth!), I declined the interview. Even with negotiation I knew they would come nowhere near $90-100k. I am not yet desperate for a job ! I did spend some time on LinkedIn and Glassdoor and applied for a couple of jobs, so we'll see what happens there. Two are just billing jobs and one is a telecom expense job similar to the Accenture job. By noon I was done with the job search for the day. I have to limit the time I spend on that, as it becomes overwhelming.

Today dawned gray and gloomy and a brief rain shower meant no chance of mowing the lawn today. Oh well. I spent the morning watching YouTube and Cookie Jam, but also got the carpet vacuumed. I also managed to get some flea treatment on Minnie, who promptly disappeared to sulk about it.

They started working on the water project this morning, but the work is out on 104 at the moment. I am sure they'll progress onto my street later in the week. I made sure to fill the pitcher to ensure I have clean water for coffee. I also filled the jug I use to water my plants. When they're digging up pipes and replacing things you tend to end up with cloudy water and I don't want to be caught off guard with no clean water. 

I discarded some old salad from last week and cut up the remaining head not long before the garbage men came. I managed to get the trash out less than 20 minutes before they came, so that worked out well ! I hadn't intended to but since it was 1 pm and they hadn't come, I decided to take care of clearing out the fridge and putting it out. I also had to discard a tub of cottage cheese as it has been open for a while and mold was starting. I'm tired of that so I buy cheese sticks now. It always feels good to have the junk out of the fridge and the trash gone ! I reflected a little bit on my efforts to keep the house cleaner and gave myself credit for starting to make some jobs "routine". I'm doing better at cleaning the litter boxed and sweeping/vacuuming the laundry room. I'm doing better at keeping the kitchen sink clear of dishes. Vacuuming every day helps with keeping the house clean as well. I do still have some "heavy" tasks to do, such as cleaning the bathrooms and I'd like to mop the kitchen floor. Those tasks were impossible while it was so hot, but the next week is supposed to be high 70's, low 80's so I will start checking those tasks off the list. I've also kept up with the laundry. When you're not working you really have no excuse not to keep the house clean ! I also put the reusable grocery bags back in the trunk of the car and put a bag of bottles in there for my next shopping trip.

This month I will turn 62 and it will also be 10 years since Alex passed away. It's hard to believe he's been gone so long. Time was softened my heart when it comes to his memory. He wasn't all bad and it's hard to know why his life turned out the way it did. I sometimes wonder if I should have forced him to go back to Italy back in 1997. Maybe his life would have turned out differently and been longer. I just hope he enjoyed the time he had and I hope he is safe in the arms of his family who went before him. He missed his grandfather terribly, so I hope he was there waiting for him. I don't think Alex did anything that would result in his being condemned to Hell, which is something I think he feared. He wasn't "bad" and he didn't commit any serious crimes, so I'd like to believe his sins were forgiven. As for me, I was not blameless in the relationship. It's clear I am not meant to have a man in my life and I guess that's ok. I like doing my own thing but I do miss the companionship a spouse provides. Alex and I did have some good times, so the marriage wasn't all bad. He just had a lot of personal demons that he could not overcome and like me, food was his comfort. For him, it led to an early demise. I still have the chance to change that in my life, so I need to think about that and recommit to getting the weight off.

To that end, I finished the chocolate chip muffins today (there were 4, so I had 2 yesterday and 2 today). I threw away the last 2 donuts that I brought home from PA. I finished the cinnamon roasted pecans yesterday. I had some of the fun size candy last night at bedtime, but I'm not doing that again. I didn't need 8 pieces ! I still have the snack packs of cookies and I will finish those, one pack per day. I took my leftover spiedie and fries and discarded the pita bread. I froze the chicken and the fries in separate bags to have another day. I will buy some pita bread or wraps and use the chicken for that since there is a lot of it.

I still haven't watched any of the Paris Olympics, which continues to be a shit show. Several athletes have been sent home for misconduct and there continues to be issued with food and water quality. There is also controversy regarding "female" athletes who are thought to be biological males. I can't help but think that men who can't compete against other men are choosing to be "transgender" just to be able to win. I wouldn't be surprised to see these "women" decide they are men again somewhere down the road. I'm sure someone is keeping track of them and years from now the stories will come out. Politics continues to also be a shit show. Trump blew his chance after the assassination attempt by opening his mouth. He also made a shitty choice for his VP. I guarantee you Kamala Harris will be elected in November and Trump will have no one to blame but himself. It's unfortunate - because had he listened to sound advice he could have had this election in the bag. Ego and arrogance is his downfall.

It's 2 pm now and my day is pretty much complete. I can't do any yard work so my only choices now are to gear up and get on the treadmill or just enjoy the rest of the day. I checked in on my bank accounts and my bills this morning to make sure everything was on track there. Minnie has forgiven me for the flea treatment, so she's back to demanding to sit on my lap - which I love !