Day 63: There Is Always Hope

 

Saturday October 19, 2024

Here is the link to my original Day 63. It was Thursday March 7, 2019. My headline for that day was "Finding Your Power". This was a reference to the following quote: “When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That is where your power is.” Ironic that back then I was facing the loss of my job and here I am now without said job ! I am definitely grateful I was able to keep that job for another 5 years, as it allowed me to pay off my debt and save more money. Sadly, my mom's passing also benefited my financial position. My inheritance paid for the siding on the house and will allow me to survive for the next year or so. Back then I was also struggling with a stubborn cold that didn't want to let go. It was toward the end of winter and I was definitely ready for it to be over ! I am hoping to be healthier this winter ! Even though I am financially secure I'm still hoping to find a job. I could be happy being "retired" but I think I'd be happier with a job to keep my mind active and allow me to continue building my savings for a few more years.

Today I am feeling more hopeful about this latest effort to lose the weight and get fit again. I'm sticking to the eating plan, exercising much more and doing better with the checklist since I am not trying to force myself to check every box. I feel like I may soon be able to move on to the "progress" graphic that I saved back on 9-29. I think part of the struggle has been finding a balance in the midst of dealing with losing my job and not being able to find a new one as fast as I'd hoped. At this point I just have to trust that I am where I'm meant to be in life. I really can't complain. I have enough money to sustain me and in a few years my house and car will be paid for. My car is only 3 years old and only has about 23,000 miles on it, so I don't see any need to replace it anytime soon. I am hoping that by the time I need a new car there will be cheaper EV options. So, though I hope to find a new job, I'll be fine if I don't. Today is only day 3 of exercising 4 times a day and doing better with the checklist, so I want to give this at least a week to make sure it's sustainable. Only then will I feel I can abandon the "hot mess express" graphic !

I got up just after 9 and it was a chilly 40 degrees. By 11:15 it was 50 with a forecast high of 64. With the sun, I'm sure it will feel warmer ! Once the cats were fed I settled on the couch with my breakfast. Minnie sat with me and snoozed until about 10:15 while I watched YouTube and played Cookie Jam. Once she got up for a stretch I also got up to make the bed, get dressed, put the mums back outside, make my shake and grab a second cup of coffee. Minnie came back for a few minutes but was soon off to find a spot in the sun. She'd like to go out on the porch but it's still too cold out there. Once the sun shifts around this afternoon I should be able to open the door and let her out there.

I weighed myself this morning at the scale read exactly 277. Not exactly where I'd like to be, but I was 279 the other day, so that's a 2 pound drop. I had been at 276, so I'm hoping to pass that number by Monday. If I continue to exercise 4 times a day and keep away from extra snacks, I should be able to continue moving that scale in the right direction ! Can I lose a pound a day ? Well, maybe for a very short time. At this point I will take every pound I can get and I'd be thrilled with 2 pounds per week.

Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt. Side note: I mentioned not liking this item in my original Day 63 post as I found it too sweet. I guess the formula changed, considering I've been eating this for lunch almost every day for several years ! Afternoon snack was an 80 calorie cheese stick and 120 calorie crackers. Dinner was 220 calorie creamy chicken alfredo over riced cauliflower. I also had an apple as I felt like I needed to eat something quick while I was getting my dinner ready. I was starving ! Evening snack was the last 140 calorie chocolate cupcake with whipped cream. I am now facing over a week with alternate snacks. It's ok though, I've deliberately delayed my recent orders so that I could reduce the amount of dinner entrees and I've made good progress on that. I need to start eating the chicken breasts as they are very old. By the time my next shipment comes I should have most of the old entrees gone, which is great. 

I've been doing better on my "checklist",  with the exception of taking my vitamins and brushing my teeth. I'm going to work harder on these two items, so today I started taking B12. You dissolve it under your tongue and it's cherry flavored, so I didn't mind that at all ! I also took my multivitamin, D, E and Iron. I guess I didn't have enough food in my stomach, because they made me nauseous. I wanted to be on the treadmill at noon, so I was hoping the feeling would pass. I ate my yogurt and a few pretzels, and that helped.

My first workout was later than planned as it took me a while to stop feeling nauseous after the vitamins. Tomorrow I need to make sure I take the multivitamin with my breakfast, instead of an hour later. Was it a reaction to the B12 ? I don't know, as I've never taken it before. We'll see what tomorrow brings ! Anyhow, I did make it to the treadmill by 1:30 and completed the 20m Hauru Beach walk. I was going to do a Road to Recovery workout, but the next one in the series is nearly 28 minutes long and I wasn't sure I could do that. At least the hardest workout of the day is done ! Before my workout I ended up running the vacuum around the ceilings in the living room and dining room to grab cobwebs and any spiders. This was instigated by the sight of a Japanese lady bug on the ceiling in the living room ! I don't need an infestation of those, so I always suck them up if I see one. Since I had the vacuum out I figured I might as well made good use of it ! This is a start towards getting the house ready for my dinner party on 11-10, which is 3 weeks from tomorrow ! In this time I need to grocery shop, clean the house and put up the Christmas decorations. Cleaning is first, then decorating, then shopping. I plan to cook the meat and make my sauce the day before, so I need to shop no later than Friday 11-8. It seems like everyone looks forward to this day, and that makes me really happy !

Since my first workout was late, my schedule for today is 1-3-5-7 so I have an hour now (it's 2:03) to recover and eat lunch.

I was able to shut off the heat and open the doors by noon, thanks to the sunny day ! Minnie shot right out to enjoy the porch. She will miss that once winter sets in. By 7 I had closed the doors and popped the heat back on, even though the main part of the house was at 70 and the laundry room was at 68. As of 8 pm the outdoor temp had already dropped to 45 and the overnight low is 38, so we'll need the heat for sure ! I forgot to bring the mums in before I showered, so I'm going to leave them out tonight. There is no frost advisory so they should be fine. After tonight lows are going to be in the high 40's/low 50's, so I won't need to bring them in for a few days. I'll keep an eye on the forecast to make sure nothing changes. It's supposed to be 70 tomorrow, which is great for late October !

I forgot to mention it in yesterday's blog, but I was thinking about the fact that 15 years ago at this time I had been diagnosed with leukemia and was in the hospital to begin chemotherapy. That first 30 day hospital stay was the worst. I was very, very ill. There were many more hospital stays after that but I never reacted to the chemo as violently as I did the first round. Every hospital stay after the first one was like a vacation for me. My life with Alex was a disaster and I didn't mind being in the hospital for 30 days at a time. I played Farmville and watched tv and didn't have to worry about going to work, trying to take care of 4 dogs and 5 cats, maintaining the yard and trying to keep the house clean. I was paid my full salary so money wasn't any more of a problem than usual. Alex did his best but I think the experience took a toll on him too. I never thought I was going to die but he might have, and I'm sure he wondered what would happen to him if I died. I'm pretty lucky to be here 15 years later, healthy (as far as I know) and in a much better personal and financial situation. As much as I'd like some companionship, I suspect I will be spending the rest of my life alone.

During my lunch I did a little searching online about B12 and it seems nausea is a common symptom. Going forward I may take it first thing with my breakfast. Eating my yogurt and having a couple pretzel rods seemed to help and I feel fine now (2:40 pm). If I take it early I should be feeling fine by the time my first workout rolls around. I just took my zinc (or potassium) supplement since my stomach is full. I have my potassium (or zinc) to take and then my calcium at bedtime. I also have a bottle of magnesium, but I haven't started taking that yet. I'm on track to complete all items on the checklist, provided I am not too lazy to brush my teeth at bedtime. I may start going upstairs after my evening snack to brush my teeth. We'll see !

It was about 3:20 by the time I started workout #2, but all that matters is the fact that I did it ! It was 27m47s and is the longest in the Road to Recovery part 2 series. I will finish this series tomorrow and then start on Road to Recovery part 3. The workouts are about the same, which is about 20 minutes and a typical pace of 2.2 mph. As of 5:51 pm workout #3 is in the books ! It was 18m43s and I struggled a little bit toward the end as I was very hot. I need to start turning on the fan before my workouts to prevent this. I checked my heart rate stats on the Fitbit app and I didn't realize I hit 172 during workout #2. I'm not sure why as there was no incline and the pace was a steady 2.2 mph. During workout #3 my heart rate maxed out at 119. Is the occasional spike something to worry about ? I don't really think so. 

Workout #4 was in the books as of 7:58 pm. I might have got a late start, but I got it done ! 19m57s in Spain and there are 3 workouts left in Road to Recovery part 2, which I plan to complete tomorrow ! My heart rate peaked at 119 during this workout as well, in spite of a pace of 2.3 mph for quite a lot of the workout.

My total workout time today is 86m27s plus 28 minutes of warm up/cool down for a grand total of 114m27s !!!! That is almost 2 hours ! As of 8 pm my steps for the day were 14,569 - which is amazing ! I will continue to remind myself that I can't do this every day so that I don't lose momentum on the days I can't/don't get 4 workouts in. Wednesday's I go out, so I'll be satisfied with one workout, but thrilled if I can squeeze 2 in ! If I run several errands and am out for a few hours 4 may be asking too much, but I can try ! There is always going to be time for at least one workout every single day, unless I am sick. If I'm home all day I have zero excuses, so we'll see how I do.

Today has been an amazing day. If I brush my teeth when I go to bed, today will be the first time in a long time that I've completed every item on the list ! That truly makes me happy. I got all 4 workouts and all my vitamins in, despite the bout of nausea. My goal for tomorrow is to repeat today sans nausea ! I have my vitamins in plain sight, so I'm going to try taking the B12 with my breakfast. Even if I get nauseous I should be over that by noon when I want to start my workouts. If I could have a day like this at least 5 days per week, there is no way I won't succeed with my weight loss. I did eat a little extra today (3 pretzel rods and an apple) but they were fat free and relatively low calorie. I get in trouble when it comes to candy and cookies !

Below is what I achieved today. I am focusing on what I do each day, and not looking back to what I did or didn't do any other day. I hope that one day soon I won't need a checklist to ensure I do all of these everyday tasks ! If I brush my teeth when I go to bed, today will be the first time in a long time that I've completed every item on the list ! That truly makes me happy.  

Make the bed - x

feed cats - x

have breakfast - x

get dressed - x

exercise - x x x x

clean litter boxes - x

take vitamins - x

have morning snack - x 

have lunch - x

have afternoon snack - x

have dinner - x

have evening snack - 

shower - x 

skincare - x

brush teeth - x